Category Archives: Values

Let’s Talk

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Let's TalkI must confess I have not always felt so free to share this information. I know a lot of people hold contrary views. However, as I’ve researched, read and discussed this issue ad nauseam (ask my family) I truly believe everyone needs to think through the current state of our children’s health and ask ‘WHY?’

Why are there so many kids with peanut allergies, learning difficulties, auto-immune disorders, obesity, neurological issues?  Sure, the issue is multifaceted.  There are environmental toxins at levels the world has never known before, and we all know the food we eat is not what it should be.  However, just because there are many issues contributing to this debate, does not negate the fact that we need to take a very long and careful look at giving our children vaccines – or any other medication they might get a prescription for.  God did not intend for His children, especially the smallest most helpless ones, to suffer so much.

Please research carefully before you make this decision.  Don’t allow anyone to bully you into a decision.  Check out both sides.  Read the package inserts and the ingredient list of EVERYTHING.  Don’t let fear push you to do something.  Vaccines can always be given later, but they can never be taken back and sometimes the injury can last for life.

 

The Good News: This Autism Therapy is Free…And Good For the Whole Family

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Guest Post by The Thinking Moms Revolution whose book and writings have contributed hugely to the awareness of the reality of autism and the possibilities for full recovery.  I am so glad they found each other and that they have joined together to write so that they can extend their blessing far and wide. I have been blessed many times over by their struggles. This piece is really for all parents and helps us to understand the power of our role in our children’s lives.

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Thinking Moms’ Revolution

Luv BugMoments that bring me to my knees, I love them.  Well, I should clarify. I love the ones that bring me to my knees with gratitude – like that guy bursting out of the sewer pipe in Shawshank Redemption, glad to be alive. That is good stuff.  But when you are a parent of a kid with challenges – be it social, academic, physical, or all challenges rolled into one – it can be something like noticing a bug on the sidewalk and stepping on it that channels that inner Shawshank. “YESsssssssss – he noticed a BUG. Damn straight, my man – high five! OH, SNAP – he stepped on it!!! How APPROPRIATE was that?!?!”

You KNOW you know what I’m talking about.

There are also those milestones that everyone would agree are definitely fall-to-your-knees worthy. Learning to walk (at any age), talking (again at any age), peeing and pooping in the potty, staying dry through the night, etc. My latest “on my knees” moment was brought to me courtesy of the YMCA. We have a network of awesome YMCAs around us, and my son LOVES the indoor rock-climbing walls. He’s tried all the rock walls at all the YMCAs that are nearby. He has a body size that is not ideal for rock climbing. His low muscle strength, poor motor planning and general inability to focus provide additional challenges. But about a year after he discovered indoor rock climbing – he got to the top!

rockclimbing2

It was so sweet because it was something typical. And kid-like. And just about age appropriate. We weren’t congratulating him for regaining his composure after a cherished plan was cancelled, or celebrating his first words four years after he lost the ability to speak. This was different. And he was SO PROUD. SO. PROUD. The really sweet thing to me was the reminder to NOT GIVE UP. I didn’t realize it, but I had been going through the motions while taking him to the different rock-climbing facilities during the past year. I didn’t realize that, in my head, I had written it off as something it would be unlikely that he could accomplish.

Then one night, when he was particularly down about not making progress on the wall, he asked, “When will I get to the top?” It hit me that he had a goal of making it to the top, and he said “WHEN,” not “IF.” He had a goal, and he believed he would reach it; it was just a matter of when.

So then it hit me, this child of mine senses when I’m in a crappy mood when he gets home from school. He looks at me more, tells me he loves me and actually starts having a bad day. Just because he is catching my snarky need-more-sleep/coffee/yoga vibe. So if he’s picking up on that so easily, what’s he picking up when I “go through the motions” at the YMCA climbing wall?

So I said to him – answering the question as to WHEN he’d be getting to the top – “Probably this summer. It will take some work, and you might feel frustrated sometimes, but you will get to the top this summer.” Shit. What did I just do? Promise something I can’t deliver?

Around the same time, an awesome a local friend showed me some cool sensory integration techniques for a separate issue my son was having. I started with the easiest techniques that focused on fingers and arms and did them at bedtime a couple times a week, but not regularly.  So when my son scooted up that rock wall, and I thought ‘What the heck has changed that this is now possible?’ I thought immediately of the sensory integration therapy. Of course, that had to be it.

Then I saw this:

hateLoveRice

Dr.  Masaru Emoto has done experiments exploring the power of thoughts on the physical world. This image is from someone recreating his Rice Experiment. He filled three glass jars with rice, covered with water. Jar A he said “thank you” to everyday. Jar B he said “you idiot” to everyday.  Jar C he simply ignored. After thirty days Jar A was fermenting nicely. Jar B was black. Jar C was rotting. This image is a simplified version where one jar is labeled “love” and sent loving thoughts and words. The second jar is labeled “hate” and sent hateful thoughts and words. You can see the results. Several people I know have tried this experiment at home with similar results.

Between the rice experiment and my children’s negative behavior when I am off, I couldn’t help but wonder about the power of my mental shift about the rock wall.

So . . . I guess that this is my thought for today.

change your thoughts

I know, I know, sometimes your thoughts are your only refuge. But lately, I see my less-than-positive thoughts as my prison. The more “negative” I fill my head with, the more “negative” that is drawn into my physical world. But simple shifts in my thinking – recognizing negative self-talk, obstacles I create, expectations of failure – have created corrections to my path. And now, my son’s path. Perhaps my daughter’s path.opportunities

No sugar coating here: it requires a goodly amount of attention to your thoughts (okay, constant attention). And at first it feels fake (“I’m grateful I have food to cook, again, for my constantly hungry family who don’t show an ounce of appreciation”), but just like everything that takes practice, it becomes part of your routine, and then very, very authentic (“I’m so grateful for our warm home and a toilet that flushes”).

I initially believed that I could not control what popped into my head. Over time, what I’ve found is that your thought process is a habit as much as anything else. Of course, when you stub your toe, you’re going to think “Ouch – dang it,” but you don’t need to go into the worm hole of “Again? Another crappy thing? Why today? I need today to be good!!” And when you do start slipping into that worm hole, if you are paying attention, you can stop yourself and say, “That hurt.  Let’s carry on with my bruised, yet unbroken toe.”  When it comes down to it, I’ve spent most of my life trying to control my outside environment. Which means trying to control other people, events beyond my control. What I haven’t realized is that the thing that could make the most difference in my life is the one thing I can control: my thoughts.

~ LuvBug

Breakfast to Go

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IMG_0928We all love fast food.  Many times we NEED fast food.  We have a deadline, a place to be, an important reason to be there, but not enough time for eating our healthy breakfast.

It is time to think differently.  What can I make that is fast, nutritious, good for me AND will travel well? Chia porridge to go.  I wrote about chia porridge previously, this is an expansion. Choose your favorite flavors and personalize it!  The great thing about Chia porridge is that the chia seeds need about 15 minutes of soaking to expand, so it can travel with you and get better on the way! I made this chia porridge to go for my husband to take with him for his early morning appointment:

  • 1/2 Tablespoon chia seeds
  • water to cover
  • 1/2 Cup or so of homemade kefir
  • 1/4 Cup hemp seeds
  • 1 Tbl raw cacao powder
  • 1 Tbl raw maca powder
  • nuts, raisins, seeds
  • 1/2 Tbl honey
  • chopped pear
  • chopped strawberry

For those who are more hard-core you could add a few veggies (celery, cucumber, kale) and omit some fruit.  Others might want to top their chia porridge with homemade granola or add different fruits. The hemp gives you the energy and will sustain you so you don’t feel hungry.  The chia is a great source of omega 3s. The maca powder is optional, but gives a great boost. We’re all at different stages of our journey, but I think most people will be able to find some way to modify this concept in a way they can enjoy it.  If you decide to have eggs for breakfast, you could always have a bowl of chia porridge for lunch!

Other chia ideas here

and here

Hope in the midst of Cancer

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According to current statistics nearly 1 out of every 2 people in the USA will wind up hearing the dreaded words, cancer.  Despite all the money contributed to cancer research over the past 50 years, and all the money insurance companies pay for cancer treatments, the rate of cancer and the survival statistics have never been worse.

Every time I see an appeal for help to a cancer patient or help to find the cure, I want to shout – THERE ARE MANY CURES ALREADY!  It’s just that they don’t make the headline news.  They are happening though – without a doubt.  If you, or a loved one, has heard those dreaded words, don’t believe the standard rhetoric.  Look for all the cures.  Here is one great story by a 26 year old that was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer and decided not to go with his oncologists treatment plan. Today, nearly 10 years later, he is completely cancer free and speaks, coaches and encourages others to pursue healing.  I love the fact that he is unashamedly a follower of Jesus Christ.

I also encourage everyone who does not have a cancer diagnosis to watch this 4 minute video in advance.  You need to know all the options before you ever hear the dreaded words.  If you follow the same health plan outlined by Chris, you need never hear them!

 

Thoughts about Food

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Instead of cooking, how about food preparation?

Instead of rigidly following a recipe, what about having a look at the real food available to you and saying, “how can I combine these foods to make something delicious?”

If you bake so you can have “treats” or snacks, what other foods could you begin to enjoy that would be a treat or snack?

Make a list of all the foods you love that are good for you and figure out creative ways to recombine them!

The possibilities are endless. Share your great ideas with others.  Our creativity can be contagious.  We need to

get out of the ruts we’ve formed for ourselves.

One client shared a new adaptation of some of my raw chocolate ideas:  mix organic peanut butter, raw cacao powder and honey. Roll it into a snake formation (like when we make play dough snakes with our kids).  Store it in the fridge and cut off a piece as needed for your super delicious, nutritious snack!  My adaptation would be to add come coconut oil to that mixture!  Play with it.  Make it your own.  Be creative.  Think differently!

Overcoming Evil With Good

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shattered glassMy friend shared a very powerful story that more people need to hear.  We’ve all faced situations where we feel unjustly attacked, or that the reaction we receive is totally over the top.  These attacks can cause a physical stress response in our body and leave us reeling for days!  We feel shattered.  Have you ever felt assaulted by words? Like you’ve been punched in the stomach?  Read about Kristin’s experience and how she responded.  Just a beautiful story!  These are her words, which she has given me permission to share:

Today, a simple trip to the “financial vortex” we like to call Target, ended up being an experience that God would use in my and my son’s life for quite some time. It is NOT a story about me. It is a story about the God that I serve and His infinite ability to make beauty from ashes.

As Luke and I turned off of North Point Parkway and into the strip mall that boasts the big red ball of happy, I noticed that there was a terribly obnoxious amount of traffic. I felt rather sorry for the cars that were trying to exit, (they had a yield sign to us) and so I (not noticing the “keep moving” sign) stopped to let a car squeak by. It was at this point I heard the BLAST of a horn – and when I say blast, I mean it sounded as if the driver had climbed out of his seat and was sitting on his steering wheel. And he didn’t let up. He followed me into the Target parking lot, and followed my minivan until I turned into a parking space. It was at that point that I realized we were going to have to exchange words… because he had intentionally stopped his car right behind mine so that I could not get out. Gulp.

I took a deep breath, I knew I was not dealing with a rational, good spirited person. Nope, this was an angry middle aged horn happy man who was severely enraged by my choice to let a car through traffic. Dear Lord.

FlamesMy feet had not even hit the pavement before a barrage of arrows came flying from his mouth. This man, I did not know, was screaming at me in the Target parking lot. I watched his mouth moving, his forehead squinched, his cheeks bright red with anger. I heard the words. “Idiot” “You should learn how to drive” “can’t you read?” “It’s people like you who cause accidents.” I stood in disbelief. Was this happening? All I could think was “Why is he so angry?” So, that’s what I asked him In the gentlest tone I possess. “Sir, why are you so angry?” He was so taken aback by my response that he stumbled over the next few words, scoffed a little, and then carried on with more arrows. Ugly arrows. Flaming arrows. Hurtful, sharp and wicked arrows… and then… he was gone.

Luke and I stood in the parking lot hand in hand with our mouths gapping, our hearts pounding, and our spirits completely stomped on. We had just been harassed by a perfect stranger, for being kind to another stranger. (And I admit that technically I had made a traffic mistake, but I am fairly certain that my abuser has made at least one of those in his life time? Just a guess.)

After I collected myself, (and sucked any tears that threatened to fall out – back into my eyeballs) I leaned down and looked into my son’s eyes. “Son, I am really sorry that that happened. You know that we NEVER – no matter how mad we are – we NEVER treat another person like he just treated Mommy, right?” “Yes ma’am” “And son, the Bible says to love our enemies and so I think we really need to pray for that man.” “I do too mommy.” “Alright, I love you so much” “I love you too momma.” “You ok?” “Yup”

And although I had resolved it with my son, I could not quite resolve it with myself. As we got our items from inside the store, a trail of “poor me” thoughts like “How could a person who does not know me or who I am, attack me like that? I’m like the nicest person ever, that wasn’t fair, my saturday is ruined, that was so mean, I’m so sad, tears… uh oh, tears… here they come..” And I burst into pitiful self pitying tears, right there in the happiest store on earth. I was letting that man crush my spirit. I was swimming in the ugliness that he had thrown on me and I was so close to MISSING the beauty that God was, in that very moment, effortlessly replacing it with.

As we walked to the car, I believe God spoke to me. “That man put something ugly into the world, now GO and put something beautiful in its place. I am God – and I turn ashes to beauty, evil to good, hurt to healing… Go and be my light. Go and bless someone.”

So friends, here’s where it gets GOOD. Luke and I prayed right there in the car. Where do we go? What do we do? Who do we bless? I felt the urge to drive across town to the Kroger near my house and so I took that as part of our answer. We prayed on the drive over that HE would lead us, show us who to bless and how to do it. I suspected we would be paying for someones groceries and so I immediately started to plan “Operation Bless A Stranger” Actually, it was more like “Operation bless a stranger who looks sad or down trodden with just a grocery basket, not a whole cart cause we can’t afford it if they’re not in the ten items or less lane.”

God had something else in mind.

After grabbing a very schizophrenic assortment of unnecessary items that I absolutely did not need, we neared the check outs. I started to question what I had heard. I felt nervous and embarrassed. What if this didn’t go down well. Who is it Lord? What if I…

And there she was.

A nicely dressed 50 something. Well put together, a typical southern lady, with a very substantial amount of groceries. Really Lord? She does not look like she needs me to buy her groceries…ALL millions of them. But I knew. The holy spirit was pushing my heart toward this woman, this perfect stranger.

I watched the grocery bill climb higher and higher, a bead of sweat flew off of my forehead, I felt a little nauseous. It was now or never. Her last item had crossed the finish. It was time to pay. “Ma’am?” I said. “My son and I would like to pay for your groceries.” She looked at me like I had just said “My son and I would like to eat your groceries.” Adamant, she replied. “No. You can not buy my groceries, there are way too many here. Someone did this for my mother. No, I can’t let you buy my groceries.” To which I replied “Ma’am, my son and I had a horrible experience today, and we prayed a lot about this, and you, and well, we’re going to buy your groceries.” At this point the woman realized that I was going to buy her groceries. There was no talking me out of it. She grabbed me. She literally wrapped her arms around me and began to sob. I sobbed too. Then she pulled away from me and looked me in my eyes and said this: “My husband is terminally ill, you just, you just have no idea… thank you.” And off she went, pushing her millions of groceries that God had just paid for, out the door.

Faith surrenderAt this point everyone was crying. The people in line behind us, the checkout girl, the tough guy one isle over “had something in his eye”… (he totally cried). The check out girl looked down at Luke and said “you have a great mom” to which I say this: This is not about me. This is about the God that I serve. This was FOR me from Him. He turns ashes to beauty, evil to good, hurt to healing, pain to laughter, and traffic violations to stories of His immense love – from one perfect stranger to another.

So my challenge? When someone is terribly unkind to you, GO do something for someone else. He has given us the power to replace the bad with something good.

My God is an awesome God. That is all.

[ME}: Hey Kristin I’d love to share your story. It is so profound and illustrates some practical steps for healing and forgiveness. I can share with or without your name – whichever you prefer. Also, I was wondering if after the big hug by the lady and all the tears, if you felt an emotional cleansing? It is amazing how an assault of words can actually have a physical impact on our body – almost as if we had been physically punched all over. I think your Holy Spirit guided response was absolutely beautiful and must have brought such healing and a sense of physical peace.
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  • Kristin Birkeli Grunewald Becky Hastings, you absolutely may share it with whomever you’d like! And YES re the emotional cleansing. I absolutely did feel that way! And HE knew I would. I’m feeling so incredibly blessed to be the daughter of a king, who cares so greatly for his children!

    Share away! Start a movement! #killitwithkindness!

     

Rationing Onions

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I never thought I would be so careful with my onion usage!

I caught myself thinking, ‘I’ll use ¼ of an onion in hash browns so that I can still have a lot left for another dish.’

onionWhat is happening to me???

Eating organic in the USA is changing the way I prepare food, and the way I think about vegetables!  Since one organic onion costs approximately $1 from my local grocery store, I have learned to use as many layers as possible and think about how to share it among meals!

Another way of stretching organic value is to use every part of every organic vegetable that I purchase.  No throwing away the broccoli stalks anymore! Broccoli stalks and cauliflower stalks can be cut up and lightly sautéed with coconut oil or saved to go in the morning green smoothie!  No peeling ginger, why waste any part?  Cauliflower leaves? Chop em up!  Outside leaves of the organic cabbage that was a cool $4??  Chop it fine, no more waste from this girl!

Brown spot on bananas?  Into the frozen fruit tub for smoothies… Mushy bits of strawberries? The same.  In fact sometimes I even freeze strawberries whole with the green bits still on!

“Don’t throw anything away!”  Is my new battle cry to my family!

I even eat organic apple cores, as long as there is no fungus, and while other members of the family might not take my new ideas this far, when they leave a cut out apple core on the cutting board – it goes into the frozen fruit tub for smoothies!

Don’t tell me you can’t afford organic – think about ways to prioritize organic and don’t waste any!  Reduce expenses in other areas by making your own and by organic so you send a financial message – LOUD AND CLEAR – to retailers and big agro that you won’t buy non-organic! Another reason to choose organic produce is because in nutrient analysis organic fruit and vegetables score significantly higher than their non-organic counterparts.  Buying organic is about what you AREN’T getting – pesticides and herbicides – but it is also about what you ARE getting – more bio available nutrients for you money!  You also have the added satisfaction of supporting a local brave farmer!

If finances are really tight, buy the clean fifteen, but always buy organic of the dirty dozen!  Thanks to the Environment Working Group for keeping on top of this information.

 

Diets Don’t Work

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apple in waterMost of us have come to the realization that diets and self-deprivation don’t work, therefore it is important to create a relationship with food that is nourishing and pleasurable!

Experts estimate that 75% of overeating is caused by emotions!

However, not all overweight people are necessarily overeating right now.  Many have developed yo-yo dieting patterns and even when they strictly control their intake, their body refuses to let go of the fat they are desperate to lose.

Most times we have no idea about the emotions behind our eating choices.

Stress is another significant factor that can sabotage your best attempts in pursuing healthy eating habits and other healthy disciplines.

Personalized Coaching can help you explore the many facets that keep you stuck in a place you recognize as unhealthy.  Exploring factors that limit us can be a frustrating and sometimes scary journey.  As a Coach, I can work with you as you make discoveries that can dramatically change your relationship to your emotions, stress and food.

As a Coach, I do not hold my own idea of success or hold one particular ‘formula’ for healthy eating and then hold you accountable for following it.  A Coach does not beat you up when you are not making the kind of progress they want you to make.  A Coach listens to the desires of your heart for freedom, health and joy and holds those values for you.  A Coach believes in your ability to achieve the desires of your heart and walks along with you, which allows you to get there much faster and with great confidence.

I have found using the Emotional Freedom Technique as a tool allows clients to quickly navigate their health journey because they can: discover and clear negative emotions that have been sabotaging their attempts at success; identify awareness of their personal stress response and its impact on their body; and target the physical cravings as well as the emotional impulse to eat.

If you would like to schedule your free 30 minute inquiry call, we can discuss how hiring a Life Coach can help you take steps on your personal journey.

You have the capacity to make incredible progress and I am excited about the possibility of working with you!

 

To my dear friend – it’s about Jesus

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Don’t let past hurt, or disappointment with anything associated with Christians prevent you from investigating Jesus for yourself.

attitudeYou have your reasons. You are not unaware of the back-story about Jesus’ life, death, etc. You’ve heard it. You have either rejected it or you just don’t care. I understand – maybe not everything – but a little, because I was once there. I was once contentedly living my life with no regard to Jesus. I will admit that it was fun for a while, but it did not lead me to a good place, but that story is for another time.  For now, I want to explore some reasons you might want to take more interest in Jesus’ life – even if it doesn’t seem relevant. Or to put it more crassly, there might be some benefits that you are missing.  I know I hate it when I find out about something great that I could have had, but I missed out on, just because no one shared the news with me.

First, unlike any other religious leader or very significant person most people would admire who has ever lived, Jesus made some remarkable claims about himself. His followers also made fantastic claims about who he was – and they lived in close proximity to him for three years at least. One of the most remarkable views on Jesus Christ was by James, known as the brother of Jesus (not to be confused with James, the disciple and brother of John). James starts the letter he wrote to encourage new followers of Jesus and introduces himself as “a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Now I don’t know about you, but there is no ways I’d ever refer to myself as a slave to any of my three brothers! Jesus claimed he was God and his followers backed up his claim – even someone who knew him as well as a sibling can know a person.

Actually, that’s the ultimate reason for his death at the hands of the religious leaders of his day – he committed blasphemy in their eyes by claiming to be God’s Son, or God himself.

So Jesus claimed to be God, claimed he was intimately connected with God the Father, and all who had interaction with him attest to his perfection – even his enemies admitted they couldn’t find anything he’d done wrong. Unlike popular personalities who have always existed throughout the world, no one could make any claim against Jesus or find fault with any of his actions. That is pretty amazing. Many around the world admire Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, other political figures – but no one claims that they are perfect. Everyone is well aware that they are human and sometimes their mistakes are obvious.

books_of_bibleThe complete story of Jesus, as well as some fascinating ancient prophecies predicting his life, death and a lot more is found in the Bible.  Most people have heard a lot about the Bible, but many, if not most, haven’t actually explored it for themselves. The Bible is not a book; it was not written by a single author, and it was not intended to be read from the beginning through to the end, as you would with most books.

The Bible is more like a library of 66 different ancient texts, written over a period of roughly 2,000 years by 40 different authors from three continents, written in three different languages, and yet the harmony of the message is amazing. Many people have found that daily reading a portion of the Bible, and working consistently through it brings something to their lives that they have a hard time explaining.  I’d suggest starting with the books that describe Jesus’ life, known by their author’s names: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

NT in pocket

Structure of the Bible

The Bible is arranged into two broad “collections” known as the Old Testament and the New Testament.  The Old Testament is a collection of 39 books which can also be divided into different genres of writing: The Law, Historical narrative, Poetry, and Prophets. The 27 books that make up the New Testament include four ancient accounts of the life of Jesus (the Gospels), one book detailing the early history of events after Jesus’ death (Acts), one poetic prophecy book (Revelation) and a collection of letters (Epistles) of instruction and encouragement to the early followers of Jesus by prominent leaders. For someone to loosely say “well it says in the Bible….” does not really add a lot of weight to the point they are trying to make.  Each part of the Bible must be understood by when it was written, for which audience and the purpose of the communication. You don’t need to understand everything about the Bible in order to begin reading it. AND you don’t even have to believe it is 100% accurate – many of the things we read on a daily basis we don’t trust!

As you read, the Bible, it will become clear that there are very different types of writing. I encourage you to start! The Bible continues to be one of the best-selling books of all time, and is very interesting ancient reading. There are many modern English translations of the Bible available with added notes to give you some background information on the author and purpose of the different books.

painMany people have shared with me details of how they have been hurt by a specific church, a religious institution, or a person who was known by the term ‘Christian.’  The hurt they feel has made them strongly adverse to having anything to do with church, the Bible or in many cases, God.  I’m not minimizing the pain that has been caused and the deep hurt many continue to feel.  Jesus himself had a great problem with the religious leaders of his day.  In fact, he reserved some of his harshest criticism for those in places of authority.  Getting to know Jesus is not about going to church or learning to fall in line with a bunch of rules imposed on you.  It is not handing over control of your life to a group called a church that thinks they can make all your life decisions for you.  Don’t let a bad past experience prevent you from getting the true facts.  Try to push through your past pain and get to know Jesus himself: who he claimed to be and the promises he made to his followers.

giving handsMany people don’t feel a need to seek God or investigate exactly what he had in mind with his plan of sending Jesus.  They are bored with the Christmas story, or the Easter story and have a lot more important things going on in their life than attending church with a bunch of hypocrites.

People sometimes see those who want to talk about Jesus all the time as weak or lacking backbone because they can never just decide anything for themselves, but always pull out the God card or the prayer card.  They feel people should be free to make decisions and implement their own values in their lives without having to fall back on this ‘dependent on God’ mode. I share some of this frustration and agree that Christians aren’t always the best advertisement for what becoming a follower of Jesus might look like.

However, most people will admit that they can’t actually live up to the basic standards they set for themselves. They make decisions on the values they hold dearly, yet they find they cannot live them out. They make positive decisions but aren’t able to implement them, even though these positive changes are what they want and what they have decided to do, they lack the ability to fully pull them off.  They miss the mark they set for themselves.  This is a human condition.  You don’t find animals contemplating the fact that they need to be a better parent, or cut calories, yet our world abounds with groups to help you achieve you goals whether it is to become a more peaceful parent, to stop smoking, drinking or drugs, become a better public speaker, or reduce anxiety and stress in your life.

Rainbow mountainSince we can’t even live up to our own good desires for ourselves, maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check out some of the things Jesus said, “I have come so that you might have life and life more abundantly!” John 10:10.

I’d like to give you a challenge: I dare you to spend 10 minutes a day for 30 days reading the Bible.  I encourage you to share the results of your experiment. You don’t even need to buy a book. The Bible is freely available on-line. Are you ready to take the 30 day Bible reading challenge?  What might prevent you from exploring Jesus?

Happy Grandparents June 13Author: Becky Hastings, wife, mother, grandmother, passionate follower of Jesus Christ and truth seeker, especially in the areas of health and children. Facing a world quite different from the one in which I grew up, I seek to research and understand the true route to health, freedom and joyful family living!

 

 

Confessions of an Imperfect Parent

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Let's be friends

I have a vivid memory of an intense serious discussion my husband and I had with our oldest son when he was 20.  He was at a stage of life where he didn’t really know what his future held or what he should be pursuing.  He was not feeling confident.

I don’t remember the entire conversation, it lasted a long time and there was a lot of raw sharing and tears all around.

There were some things he raised about his childhood that caused him pain in remembering.  There was the realization that we had not done a perfect job in raising this son.  We had made mistakes.  Some of our mistakes had left scars in his heart that he was still struggling with.  It was not an easy conversation.  Acknowledging our parenting mistakes was hard, but it was even harder trying to figure out ‘what do we do now?’  How can we help this son heal from the pain we inadvertently caused him?  How can we help him through this state of insecurity and move with confidence to the future God has for him?

Most of the discussion was between my husband and son and I distinctly remember having the thought “I’m like the Counselor in this situation, but I HAVE NO IDEA what is needed or what would be helpful for them right now.”  I usually think I have all the answers to most relational issues!! But I was completely stumped and remember telling them so.

I think we all prayed together, apologized and agreed that we did not know the way forward.

As parents of young children we do our very best to meet their needs and balance life.  But it is quite a learning curve and we can’t always predict exactly how our decisions will impact the heart of our child.  Hearing about some scars on my son’s heart based on the life choices we had made was very hard, but allowing him the space to speak about it was an important step towards his healing and growing.

He went on to find a field of study he really enjoyed.  He moved a continent away and got a lot of great work experience – some of it through some pretty difficult situations.  He dug in, faced the difficulties and grew.  God brought him an amazing woman to be his wife.  He started his own business and has seen it grow as he contracts many men older than himself to work for him.

So what is my point?  As parents we will make mistakes!  It is a given.  However, we can have confidence that God’s grace can bring blessing despite our mistakes.  Coming to grips with our mistakes is a process.  We can start by confessing to our children when we know we have made a mistake.  We can listen when they want to explain their view on their life – listen and not try to defend ourselves.  We can pray and seek wisdom and grace to build, grow and repair once we have become aware of pain we might have inadvertently caused our children.  We need to fully receive the forgiveness offered in Jesus Christ and not beat ourselves up for our mistakes. All of it is worth it.  Building a long lasting friendship with our adult children is one of the most worthwhile things we can do!

What have your learned about forgiving yourself on your parenting journey?