Category Archives: Parenting

No Guarantees

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handsIn parenting there are no guarantees.  Most parents are filled with awe at the prospect of being responsible for a new life and try and do everything ‘right’.  Some research like crazy, others take opinion polls from their friends or rely on the accumulated wisdom they’ve gleaned over the years.  They know in their heart – they will never be ‘that’ parent – the one in their memory who was sooooo obviously wrong.

Our attempts to be the perfect parent are often interesting for others to watch!  Usually we are unaware of how we appear.

Some parents rely heavily on whatever their doctor, or midwife, or best friend advises.  They might read a book claiming to have all the answers to how to make sure your baby is healthy, sleeps through the night from an early age, and is the brightest baby on the block. We set our sights on the ‘true path to parenting perfection’ completely unaware that there is no perfect method, and anyone who claims to have it, is either delusional or lying.

All parents want the best for their baby – those that learn about the increased toxic exposure children face today and carefully avoid all heavy metals, including fish, medication and vaccinations AND those who fear their child might unnecessarily experience suffering through a ‘vaccine preventable disease’ so they make sure they fully vaccinate themselves, their baby, and anyone coming into contact with the baby.

Happy Grandparents June 13I have been at this job of parenting for over 31 years.  My husband and I have been blessed with five amazing children, two daughters in love and three wonderful grandchildren.  The bottom line is that anything good we have done with our children has been through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and that His mercy is enough for most of our mistakes.

In the end we have to seek to follow Him with all our heart, mind and soul and seek the wisdom He wants to give us on a daily basis.  We can have absolute confidence that He does not want to leave us in the dark, but loves us absolutely and wants to reveal His truths to us.

Choose faith over fear.  Parent out of your faith and confidence that God created your child in your womb and can give your body the ability to grow a healthy child – even if you decline to get an early photo!  Make your parenting decisions based on faith in the immune system God designed.  Never make a decision out of fear.  Pray and ask to be led to the information you need to make a wise choice.

Read both sides of any discussion.  Don’t be afraid to explore what the best of the best has to say to support their claims.  Read every word of any medication’s package insert before administering it to your child.  Don’t give anything just because a doctor or a pharmacist says its safe.  Empower yourself with knowledge. When in doubt wait and pray. The more information you have in advance the easier it will be to make decisions.

But in the end, follow your heart of faith in a God who loves you – don’t follow fear.  Life is not perfect.  Even if you take every possible precaution you can still end up with a situation you did not plan or desire.  Continue to choose faith.  Faith that God can work all things for our good as we love Him and follow His call on our life.

Sometimes we learn the best lessons through the biggest difficulties.  No one wakes up and orders challenges and difficulties for breakfast, but sometimes as parents we find they show up on our plate.  We can respond with faith and seek the strength and grace Jesus wants to imbibe in us.

How has God turned your greatest challenges into triumphs? Let me know in the comments below.  Your story can inspire others.

 

 

Scientific Ideas

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DSC_0075I came across this quote from a book written in 1972 describing a situation in the 1940s, but it rings just as true, if not more, today:

Yet the established virologists still clung to the idea that polio was a disease of the nervous system only, pointing out that to find actual polio virus in the blood of polio victims was a very rare thing. The tenacity of the old-liners was understandable. It was hard to part with ideas that had been companions for as long as half a century. Aaron E. Klein, Trial By Fury

Scientists generally have a hard time getting their mind around a new way of looking at things.   Funding plays a role, but even the wiring of their brains has been to follow certain types of logical sequences, so that when a new idea is presented, their brain automatically kicks it out.  Many times people get angry at these scientists and can accuse them of all sorts of evil motivation.  I’m not saying there is no greed or corruption in science, but when we start to understand the huge mental shift a scientist must embrace to accept a new way of thinking about a subject he is well versed in, we might find better and faster ways of helping them see and accept the truth.

When we strongly attack a closely held opinion held by someone who perceives themselves to be an expert, we can cause them to hold even more tightly – no matter how illogical that position seems to be.

Attacking someone rarely works in getting them to change their mind-set.  How can we help parents, doctors, educators, policy makers and government officials learn the truth and change their ideas, especially in areas that could be causing severe harm to our children and our health?

1:68 demands we figure this out.

What’s a parent to do?

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IMG_0517Parenting is more difficult than ever before.  Parents now have access to more information than any previous generation.  However, so much of the information is contradictory it can leave a brand new parent bewildered and confused and result in even more self-doubt than ever.  Parents have always suffered from self-doubt, but the current array of strong opinions on so many different parenting subjects, can actually undermine a new parent, cause them to question themselves continuously, and even interfere with the natural bonding process.

So, what’s a parent to do?

  • Find information that strengthens you and leaves you feeling excited and invigorated about this journey of parenthood.
  • Listen to your heart.
  • Question everything.  Feel free to question me, disagree with me, find your own answers.
  • Never operate out of fear.  Our fears can be about what other people might think, fear of not being the ‘perfect parent,’ fear of exposing our child to some perceived danger, etc.
  • Never operate out of pride.  Our pride in our accomplishment as a parent can cause us to push our children or try to mold them into something we can brag about.  This is not a healthy response to the uniqueness of our children.
  • Take time to refresh and boost yourself.  Give yourself permission.  At first, when your baby is small it might be just setting aside 20 minutes a day and talking a walk while wearing your baby.  There might be a million things in your home crying out for your attention, but taking that walk is probably what your brain and body need. As your baby gets older and is able to happily stay for a short time with a loving care-giver, use the time to truly refresh yourself.  Exercise is usually better than shopping.  Just saying.
  • Find wisdom from parents who have a relationship with their older children which you admire.

For me, personally, I find incredible insight and wisdom from reading regularly through the Bible.  The first four books of the New Testament provide eye-witness accounts of the life of Jesus, his teachings and his example of sacrifice.  The rest of the ancient documents making up the New Testament were written by the original followers of Jesus explaining how to put Jesus’ life and teaching into practice. Living with a knowledge of God’s love for me motivates and inspires me to love my children beyond my own ability.

Jesus loved children.  He was upset that people would mistreat children, or even that they would try and keep children away from him.  He wanted to interact with them.  He healed many children from dreadful physical illnesses. He loved their childlike faith.  He even said His followers needed to become more like children. He summed up the entire law in a very simple statement: love God with all your heart mind and soul, and love others as you love yourself.  If we remember to love our children and put their needs on the same level as our own, we will be the best parent our child could hope to have.

Most homes have too many rules.  If we simplify to just respect ourselves and respect others, most of the other issues will be resolved. Parenting is a long-term commitment.  You don’t need to be perfect.  Let go of even hoping to be perfect. Allow yourself to learn through your mistakes and understand what you are aiming for. Taking a longer term perspective will help you weather the bumps you will face.  No parenting journey is without them!

What do you hope your relationship with your child will be like when they are 30 years old?  When they are a parent?

 

 

Bullies

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWe all see a lot on the subject of bullies and bullying.  There are billboards, advertisements, stories, even curricula for school children covering the topic of bullying.  Bullying is real and we need to teach our children effective ways of handling bullies. But in the midst of all this bully education, it seems almost too obvious to mention:

Corporate bullies are perhaps the worst kind of bullies.

I’m certainly no expert on corporations, but it seems that many that are involved in very questionable practises are able to hold great power over people.  As someone who has lived outside the USA for over 30 years and recently returned to live in the USA, it seems that Americans in general have become immune to corporate bullies.

The toxification of the environment by industrial and commercial activity has been a fact of modern life for decades. But this plague of pollution is so insidious, like the slowly heating pot of water that boils the unsuspecting frog, that its true dimensions have crept up on us largely unheeded.  So has its impact on the health of our children.

 

Poisoned Profits: The Toxic Assault on Our Children,  Philip Shabecoff and Alice Shabecoff

In the rest of the book the authors painstakingly document how our environment is being degraded and the health of our children is being put at risk all in the name of profit.  Dangerous environmental pollution is happening in many areas of our country with reckless abandon.  Many of the offending institutions are revered in their communities because of the jobs they create and the benefits they may bring, yet they neglect to implement basic safety practices and their toxic presence can result in serious birth defects and illness to children.  Most of the offenders are not held accountable and are actually rewarded through increased profit margins and higher salaries for executives. They are powerful and have enough money to buy whatever they need – including scientific studies proving their points – for their success.

Robyn O’Brien describes her awakening to discover the truth about the toxic impact of American food, government, and culture in her book, The Unhealthy Truth. She reveals the alarming decision-making process that enables harmful additives, many of which are banned in other countries, to be included in the United States food supply.  Her book is a personal account in which she shares her daughter’s severe allergic reaction to what she thought was just ‘normal food’.  She thought she was safe in shopping in her local grocery store and feeding her children the food she found readily available on the shelves.  As she began her research into the relationship between the manipulation of our food and the increase in diseases in our children, Robyn O’Brien experienced personal attacks from these same corporate bullies.

Some notable corporate bullies habitually attack those who oppose them.  One large offender spends millions on bringing honest farmers to court simply because their continued differing farming practice is not agreeable to them.

Corporate Bullies.  What are we going to do about it?

 

Information on the flu shot for my mother

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(and others like her)

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My mom is 79 years young.  She was married to my dad, a medical virologist, for 45 years before his death in 2003.  She made a bold decision to skip the flu vaccine this year but wanted some information to help her explain her decision to those who are encouraging everyone to get a flu shot.

Dear Mom,  I care a lot about you.  I want you to enjoy good health for as long as you live.  I wish we could live closer so that we could spend more time together.  I would love to stop over every week for a regular date.

Since that is not our current reality, I thought I would share some really important information on the flu shot.  If I were closer I would be able to give this information bit by bit.  But I’ve been collecting credible sources of information on the flu and flu shot and want to share some of the best.  It’s hard to say how many hours of research I have done, but I feel like I am getting close to having at least a Bachelor’s Degree in vaccine information!

Firstly, Something VERY IMPORTANT: Compensation for Vaccine Injury

Something really important to consider in this whole debate is that if you do get a flu shot (or any vaccine), the manufacturer is not liable to pay for any damages or injury it might cause.  If you get GBS and are paralyzed (nurses and doctors see this condition frequently in emergency rooms and one of the first questions they ask is, have you recently got a flu shot?) or if you need extensive medical treatment for any injury, there is no recourse with the pharmaceutical company.  There is a process where you can make a claim to the government Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP), but only about 2% of all injuries are reported and only about 25% of all claims considered receive any compensation. There has been $2.6 Billion (update as of 11/2018 $4 Billion) paid out to 3000 claimants since this system began, and a large percentage of the claims have been paid out for flu vaccine injury.

Video 1:  “You need to become vaccine educated.”  Barbara Loe Fisher

This video is a great place to start.  It is a 20 minute explanation by Barbara Loe Fisher.  [She is introduced by Dr Mercola whom you might not like, but keep watching because after his introduction, he doesn’t say anything else.] She started the NVIC (National Vaccine Information Center) almost 30 years ago after her son was injured by vaccines.  She is a very calm rational voice and in this video she explains the current flu shot options (in 2013 there are 12 different flu vaccines made by 7 companies), how to find out what is in each one, and what the contraindications for each one are.  She recommends that if you are thinking about getting a flu shot, the very least you should do is get the information sheet on it and read it thoroughly in advance.

Video 2: Think Twice

This is a short video (<9 minutes) with many facts and figures on the flu, how the flu vaccine is made, all the ingredients, some possible reactions to the flu vaccine, the effectiveness of the flu vaccine in all age groups, and other ways to protect against the flu.

Video 3: Dr John Bergman, Chiropractor in California

Dr Bergman has very strong views and has a hard time not being passionate about his views.  I can relate completely!  So, this is a warning, don’t watch the next video unless you are ready to hear someone who has a very strong negative opinion about the flu shot! He claims 0% effectiveness in elderly.  He lists some of the suspect ingredients in many flu shots – like aborted human fetal tissue and other toxic substances and have been shown to cause cancer. I think most of the elderly people I know would not be too excited about that.

Video 4: Dr Sherri Tenpenny

I’ve saved the best for last!  In this calm video explanation, Dr Sherri Tenpenny uses a lot of statistics from the CDC itself.  She also describes what is the flu, what is the flu shot, what is in the flu vaccine, what the scientific research says regarding the effectiveness of the flu shot, and what can you do to treat and prevent the flu. This is a very worthwhile watch, it will take about 50 minutes.  So, fix a cup of tea, relax and listen.

If you don’t have time, bottom line, the flu shot doesn’t even significantly prevent flu!  “In the Cochrane study done in 2006 which was a review of 48 reports including more than 66,000 adults, “Vaccination of healthy adults only reduced risk of influenza by 6% and reduced the number of missed work days by less than one day (0.16) days. It did not change the number of people needing to go to hospital or take time off work.” Reference: “Vaccines for preventing influenza in healthy adults.” The Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews. 1 (2006)

I’ll stop with that for now.  I think I will write another blog post that might give you some insight on “What to say when pressured to get the flu shot“.

12Author: Becky Hastings, wife, mother, grandmother, passionate follower of Jesus Christ and truth seeker, especially in the areas of health and children. Facing a world quite different from the one in which I grew up, I seek to research and understand the true route to health, freedom and joyful family living!