Category Archives: Lifecoaching

Settling Disagreements

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Locking HornsLocking horns. It can happen often. Two strong personalities with strong ideas are bound to disagree. Add more strong personalities to the mix and it is a real tangle!

I am refreshed daily when I reflect on the ancient writings of Paul, an ardent follower of Jesus.  He had a simple message, a focussed life and wrote letters to encourage and instruct.  You might not be a follower of Jesus, but you can still receive timeless wisdom from this remarkable ancient writer.  He has a helpful recipe for settling disagreements that I have found incredibly helpful during 33 years of marriage and raising five children into adulthood.

  1. Realize selfishness and pride could be operating in you.  Examine yourself thoroughly.  Most of us would prefer to skip this step. I know I would.
  2. Ask what are my neighbors interests? Truly seek to understand where they are coming from.
  3. What might God want to accomplish in this? In the heat of our emotion, it is hard to see that there might be a larger purpose to our current disagreement. Jesus was 100% right, but He did not hold on to his position. He willingly allowed the bad guys to get the upper hand. We need to seek God’s outcome, not our own.
  4. Allow God’s Spirit to energize you.  He will give you the desire to do the right thing!
  5. BTW, do everything (these steps, and everything else) without: complaining, bickering, and name-calling. This requires self-control. If you feel you are losing self-control, walk away until you can regain it!
  6. Cling to words that bring life.  Find them, share them, repeat them to yourself. Most of use have negative tapes playing in our head. We need a new mind-set to help us rise above our disagreements.

These insights are gleaned from Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 2, which you can read from The Voice below.

Do Paul’s words help you when you think of the ways you usually lock horns?

2 If you find any comfort from being in the Anointed, if His love brings you some encouragement, if you experience true companionship with the Spirit, if His tenderness and mercy fill your heart; then, brothers and sisters, 2 here is one thing that wouldcomplete my joy—come together as one in mind and spirit and purpose, sharing in the same love. 3 Don’t let selfishness and prideful agendas take over. Embrace true humility, and lift your heads to extend love to others. 4 Get beyond yourselves and protecting your own interests; be sincere, and secure your neighbors’ interests first.

5 In other words, adopt the mind-set of Jesus the Anointed. Live with His attitude in your hearts. Remember:

6 Though He was in the form of God,
He chose not to cling to equality with God;
7 But He poured Himself out to fill a vessel brand new;
a servant in form
and a man indeed.
The very likeness of humanity,
8 He humbled Himself,
obedient to death—
a merciless death on the cross!
9 So God raised Him up to the highest place
and gave Him the name above all.
10 So when His name is called,
every knee will bow,[a]
in heaven, on earth, and below.
11 And every tongue will confess[b]
“Jesus, the Anointed One, is Lord,”
to the glory of God our Father!

12 So now, my beloved, obey as you have always done, not only when I am with you, but even more so when I can’t be. Continue to work out your salvation, with great fear and trembling, 13 because God is energizing you so that you will desire and do what always pleases Him.

14 Do all things without complaining or bickering with each other, 15 so you will be found innocent and blameless; you are God’s children called to live without a single stain on your reputations among this perverted and crooked generation. Shine like stars across the land. 16 Cling to the word of life so that on the day of judgment when the Anointed One returns I may have reason to rejoice, because it will be plain that I didn’t turn from His mission nor did I work in vain. 17 Even if my lifeblood is to be poured out like wine as a sacrifice of your faith, I have great reason to celebrate with all of you. 18 And for the same reason, you can be glad and celebrate with me.

Recipe for Peace

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PeaceBiblical wisdom might help you, even if you aren’t a follower of Jesus or don’t believe the Bible. Paul spent years traveling and teaching people how to live out Jesus’ words. In his letter to a group of people, he shares some key points for helping people live in peace with themselves and each other.  I think they are still helpful today.

  1. Settle disagreements. Don’t let things accumulate. It is normal to disagree – even with people you love, or are working hard together to accomplish the same goals. Bearing in mind that there are at least three points of view involved: yours, the other party’s and the whole truth.  The whole truth comes from “the Master in heaven who doesn’t take sides or pick favorites” (Ephesians 6:9).
  2. Help others settle disagreements – don’t take sides. Help them to see what is motivating them and what is motivating the other party.
  3. Choose joy.  Find the joy. Don’t let  a disagreement or negativity weigh you down.
  4. Be gentle and considerate of others. They have a lot of background stuff – just like you do.
  5. Don’t worry about anything; pray. Tell God specifically what you need. Don’t ruminate or dwell on what you don’t have, negative aspects of the situation, or what bad things might happen, just pray possible solutions.
  6. Thank God for all He has done. Make a list of anything and everything remotely good in your life. Review and add to your list. All good gifts come from God.
  7. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Look hard to find these thoughts. Making this a continuous habit takes some effort, but pays off.

Reviewing this list helps to re-set my heart and mind in the midst of any struggle I might be having – either with myself or with another person.  I thank God for the wisdom Paul shared which continues to live on through the pages of a book that so many of us take for granted!

Here is the source for my outline in a version you might not have encountered.  Please let me know what you think! How has following, or not following, these guidelines impacted the peace in your heart or home?

2 Euodia and Syntyche, I urge you to put aside your differences, agree, and work together in the Lord. 3 Yes, Syzygus, loyal friend, I enlist you to please help these women. They, along with brother Clement and many others, have worked by my side to spread the good news of the gospel. They have their names recorded in the book of life.

4 Most of all, friends, always rejoice in the Lord! I never tire of saying it: Rejoice!5 Keep your gentle nature so that all people will know what it looks like to walk in His footsteps. The Lord is ever present with us. 6 Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come. 7 And know that the peace of God (a peacethat is beyond any and all of our human understanding) will stand watch over your hearts and minds in Jesus, the Anointed One.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy. 9 Keep to the script: whatever you learned and received and heard and saw in me—do it—and the God of peace will walk with you. Paul, Philippians 4, The Voice

 

 

Hope in the midst of Cancer

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According to current statistics nearly 1 out of every 2 people in the USA will wind up hearing the dreaded words, cancer.  Despite all the money contributed to cancer research over the past 50 years, and all the money insurance companies pay for cancer treatments, the rate of cancer and the survival statistics have never been worse.

Every time I see an appeal for help to a cancer patient or help to find the cure, I want to shout – THERE ARE MANY CURES ALREADY!  It’s just that they don’t make the headline news.  They are happening though – without a doubt.  If you, or a loved one, has heard those dreaded words, don’t believe the standard rhetoric.  Look for all the cures.  Here is one great story by a 26 year old that was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer and decided not to go with his oncologists treatment plan. Today, nearly 10 years later, he is completely cancer free and speaks, coaches and encourages others to pursue healing.  I love the fact that he is unashamedly a follower of Jesus Christ.

I also encourage everyone who does not have a cancer diagnosis to watch this 4 minute video in advance.  You need to know all the options before you ever hear the dreaded words.  If you follow the same health plan outlined by Chris, you need never hear them!

 

Thoughts about Food

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Instead of cooking, how about food preparation?

Instead of rigidly following a recipe, what about having a look at the real food available to you and saying, “how can I combine these foods to make something delicious?”

If you bake so you can have “treats” or snacks, what other foods could you begin to enjoy that would be a treat or snack?

Make a list of all the foods you love that are good for you and figure out creative ways to recombine them!

The possibilities are endless. Share your great ideas with others.  Our creativity can be contagious.  We need to

get out of the ruts we’ve formed for ourselves.

One client shared a new adaptation of some of my raw chocolate ideas:  mix organic peanut butter, raw cacao powder and honey. Roll it into a snake formation (like when we make play dough snakes with our kids).  Store it in the fridge and cut off a piece as needed for your super delicious, nutritious snack!  My adaptation would be to add come coconut oil to that mixture!  Play with it.  Make it your own.  Be creative.  Think differently!

Overcoming Evil With Good

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shattered glassMy friend shared a very powerful story that more people need to hear.  We’ve all faced situations where we feel unjustly attacked, or that the reaction we receive is totally over the top.  These attacks can cause a physical stress response in our body and leave us reeling for days!  We feel shattered.  Have you ever felt assaulted by words? Like you’ve been punched in the stomach?  Read about Kristin’s experience and how she responded.  Just a beautiful story!  These are her words, which she has given me permission to share:

Today, a simple trip to the “financial vortex” we like to call Target, ended up being an experience that God would use in my and my son’s life for quite some time. It is NOT a story about me. It is a story about the God that I serve and His infinite ability to make beauty from ashes.

As Luke and I turned off of North Point Parkway and into the strip mall that boasts the big red ball of happy, I noticed that there was a terribly obnoxious amount of traffic. I felt rather sorry for the cars that were trying to exit, (they had a yield sign to us) and so I (not noticing the “keep moving” sign) stopped to let a car squeak by. It was at this point I heard the BLAST of a horn – and when I say blast, I mean it sounded as if the driver had climbed out of his seat and was sitting on his steering wheel. And he didn’t let up. He followed me into the Target parking lot, and followed my minivan until I turned into a parking space. It was at that point that I realized we were going to have to exchange words… because he had intentionally stopped his car right behind mine so that I could not get out. Gulp.

I took a deep breath, I knew I was not dealing with a rational, good spirited person. Nope, this was an angry middle aged horn happy man who was severely enraged by my choice to let a car through traffic. Dear Lord.

FlamesMy feet had not even hit the pavement before a barrage of arrows came flying from his mouth. This man, I did not know, was screaming at me in the Target parking lot. I watched his mouth moving, his forehead squinched, his cheeks bright red with anger. I heard the words. “Idiot” “You should learn how to drive” “can’t you read?” “It’s people like you who cause accidents.” I stood in disbelief. Was this happening? All I could think was “Why is he so angry?” So, that’s what I asked him In the gentlest tone I possess. “Sir, why are you so angry?” He was so taken aback by my response that he stumbled over the next few words, scoffed a little, and then carried on with more arrows. Ugly arrows. Flaming arrows. Hurtful, sharp and wicked arrows… and then… he was gone.

Luke and I stood in the parking lot hand in hand with our mouths gapping, our hearts pounding, and our spirits completely stomped on. We had just been harassed by a perfect stranger, for being kind to another stranger. (And I admit that technically I had made a traffic mistake, but I am fairly certain that my abuser has made at least one of those in his life time? Just a guess.)

After I collected myself, (and sucked any tears that threatened to fall out – back into my eyeballs) I leaned down and looked into my son’s eyes. “Son, I am really sorry that that happened. You know that we NEVER – no matter how mad we are – we NEVER treat another person like he just treated Mommy, right?” “Yes ma’am” “And son, the Bible says to love our enemies and so I think we really need to pray for that man.” “I do too mommy.” “Alright, I love you so much” “I love you too momma.” “You ok?” “Yup”

And although I had resolved it with my son, I could not quite resolve it with myself. As we got our items from inside the store, a trail of “poor me” thoughts like “How could a person who does not know me or who I am, attack me like that? I’m like the nicest person ever, that wasn’t fair, my saturday is ruined, that was so mean, I’m so sad, tears… uh oh, tears… here they come..” And I burst into pitiful self pitying tears, right there in the happiest store on earth. I was letting that man crush my spirit. I was swimming in the ugliness that he had thrown on me and I was so close to MISSING the beauty that God was, in that very moment, effortlessly replacing it with.

As we walked to the car, I believe God spoke to me. “That man put something ugly into the world, now GO and put something beautiful in its place. I am God – and I turn ashes to beauty, evil to good, hurt to healing… Go and be my light. Go and bless someone.”

So friends, here’s where it gets GOOD. Luke and I prayed right there in the car. Where do we go? What do we do? Who do we bless? I felt the urge to drive across town to the Kroger near my house and so I took that as part of our answer. We prayed on the drive over that HE would lead us, show us who to bless and how to do it. I suspected we would be paying for someones groceries and so I immediately started to plan “Operation Bless A Stranger” Actually, it was more like “Operation bless a stranger who looks sad or down trodden with just a grocery basket, not a whole cart cause we can’t afford it if they’re not in the ten items or less lane.”

God had something else in mind.

After grabbing a very schizophrenic assortment of unnecessary items that I absolutely did not need, we neared the check outs. I started to question what I had heard. I felt nervous and embarrassed. What if this didn’t go down well. Who is it Lord? What if I…

And there she was.

A nicely dressed 50 something. Well put together, a typical southern lady, with a very substantial amount of groceries. Really Lord? She does not look like she needs me to buy her groceries…ALL millions of them. But I knew. The holy spirit was pushing my heart toward this woman, this perfect stranger.

I watched the grocery bill climb higher and higher, a bead of sweat flew off of my forehead, I felt a little nauseous. It was now or never. Her last item had crossed the finish. It was time to pay. “Ma’am?” I said. “My son and I would like to pay for your groceries.” She looked at me like I had just said “My son and I would like to eat your groceries.” Adamant, she replied. “No. You can not buy my groceries, there are way too many here. Someone did this for my mother. No, I can’t let you buy my groceries.” To which I replied “Ma’am, my son and I had a horrible experience today, and we prayed a lot about this, and you, and well, we’re going to buy your groceries.” At this point the woman realized that I was going to buy her groceries. There was no talking me out of it. She grabbed me. She literally wrapped her arms around me and began to sob. I sobbed too. Then she pulled away from me and looked me in my eyes and said this: “My husband is terminally ill, you just, you just have no idea… thank you.” And off she went, pushing her millions of groceries that God had just paid for, out the door.

Faith surrenderAt this point everyone was crying. The people in line behind us, the checkout girl, the tough guy one isle over “had something in his eye”… (he totally cried). The check out girl looked down at Luke and said “you have a great mom” to which I say this: This is not about me. This is about the God that I serve. This was FOR me from Him. He turns ashes to beauty, evil to good, hurt to healing, pain to laughter, and traffic violations to stories of His immense love – from one perfect stranger to another.

So my challenge? When someone is terribly unkind to you, GO do something for someone else. He has given us the power to replace the bad with something good.

My God is an awesome God. That is all.

[ME}: Hey Kristin I’d love to share your story. It is so profound and illustrates some practical steps for healing and forgiveness. I can share with or without your name – whichever you prefer. Also, I was wondering if after the big hug by the lady and all the tears, if you felt an emotional cleansing? It is amazing how an assault of words can actually have a physical impact on our body – almost as if we had been physically punched all over. I think your Holy Spirit guided response was absolutely beautiful and must have brought such healing and a sense of physical peace.
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  • Kristin Birkeli Grunewald Becky Hastings, you absolutely may share it with whomever you’d like! And YES re the emotional cleansing. I absolutely did feel that way! And HE knew I would. I’m feeling so incredibly blessed to be the daughter of a king, who cares so greatly for his children!

    Share away! Start a movement! #killitwithkindness!

     

My Journey so Far

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I grew up in the USA, but after meeting my husband John in South Africa, we spent 30 years raising our five children there, living in a few different locations, but finally making our home in Cape Town in 2001. We loved serving God and others at Southpoint Church and were blessed in so many different ways. In May 2013 we disentangled ourselves from most of our earthly possessions in Cape Town, South Africa to find ourselves with our three suitcases each, in Warner Robins, Georgia, to begin a brand new season of life where John is serving as Lead Pastor of Longleaf Church, Rachel is excelling at Middle Georgia State College and Leah is enjoying her first school experience two days a week with a hybrid homeschooling program called Veritas Classical Education. We were happy to be close enough to connect more frequently with our three adult sons, two daughters-in-love and three grandchildren – two we’d never met!

It is always difficult and traumatic to move, and moving cross-continentally from a place we loved, full of people we loved, has had the expected challenges.  We have learned to play a game I invented called, “It’s good because _______” where everyone takes a turn to fill in the blank.

DSC_0217Sometimes God needs to disentangle us from some things so that He can make us available for MORE.  We continue to look for all the MORE He has for us and especially how we can be MORE effective in sharing the love of Christ with others.

For most of my adult life I have been wondering what I was going to do “when I grow up.” Raising five children and homeschooling them has been my focus for many years.This move has caused me to begin seriously thinking about useful ways of using the next phase of life.  With only two children remaining at home (Rachel, 20 and Leah, 13), I have more discretionary time than ever before.

In examining my strengths and potential opportunities with many wise people, I was introduced to the field of Life Coaching and have completed my first course towards becoming a Certified Professional Life Coach.  I am enjoying all aspects of this endeavor: the learning, the peer coaching, and coaching actual clients.  I am realizing that I have been doing coaching for many years in a variety of capacities and I love the privilege of working with clients to discover and achieve their goals.

I am looking forward to continuing my training and personal development through taking more classes while at the same time offering my services at a reduced rate to clients who are ready to make some thoughtful changes in different areas of their lives.  I am currently coaching moms with children at home who want to improve family relationships; seasoned executives who want to make wise choices about nutrition and lifestyle so they can enjoy long life AND vitality; and business owners who just want to be better at everything.  I continue to pursue my passion for health and wellness through on-line conferences and education and love helping others find practical economical ways to improve their health and enjoyment of life!

‘Ready, Fire, Aim’ is an approach to life that resonates well with me.  I do like to get ready, but I like to get into motion and refine as I go.  God has been getting me ready for coaching through:

  • 34 years as a Christ follower, learning lessons daily;

  • 34 years of progressive awareness of health and nutrition all built upon a Nutritional Chemistry Course taken at Vanderbilt University;

  • 33 years married to John with all the learning and adapting marriage requires;

  • 31 years of mothering five children through all their different developmental learning stages;

  • 20+ years passionately coaching young moms towards mothering through breastfeeding with the incredible support of La Leche League South Africa;

  • 17 years of homeschooling five different personalities and learning styles;

  • 15 years of facilitating Communication workshops for small groups;

  • 13 years as a Pastor’s wife;

  • 6 years as a member of an amazing staff team at Southpoint Church seeking to create environments so people could come to know and love Jesus as we do!

DSC_0260So, as I look back I see that God has been preparing me and getting me ready for this phase of my life.  I look ahead with anticipation to how He might use me to help others.

I imagine taking all that experience and using it to help and bless others in 2014 and beyond…

  • Help people learn healthier living options through my blog;

  • Help people navigate their life choices through personal one on one coaching via Skype or telephone;

  • Help groups of people realize their personal goals – whether in terms of nutrition, exercise, organization, relationships, communication etc. through group coaching interaction;

  • Help people by giving motivational/inspirational talks;

  • Help teams (especially church or non-profit staffs) with team building, communication and development.

I am completely open to any doors that God will guide me to, but these are some of the things that He has given me a burden for.

So I would value your prayers as I begin this new phase of life and I would also appreciate any referrals you may have if you or someone you know resonates with the type of help I am offering.

I was caught by surprise when Mark Sisson (Mark’s Daily Apple) shared his BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal) in his first email of 2014:  “Greetings, as many of you know, it’s my life goal to help 10 million people get healthy.”

Wow!  My first thought was ‘I wonder how many people I can help?’  If I can help 10 thousand I think I will be accomplishing a lot!  But I pray I may be available to truly help as many people as God sends my way!  I praise Jesus Christ for all He has done for me and hope I can be a channel to share His blessing with others!Head Shot B

Thanks for your prayers, help and support! Use the contact form below me if I can help you in any way.

Becky Hastings

PS: You might enjoy my latest updated recipe for Raw Chocolate.  It is so easy anyone can make it and so delicious you’ll want to have some every day!!

 

Diets Don’t Work

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apple in waterMost of us have come to the realization that diets and self-deprivation don’t work, therefore it is important to create a relationship with food that is nourishing and pleasurable!

Experts estimate that 75% of overeating is caused by emotions!

However, not all overweight people are necessarily overeating right now.  Many have developed yo-yo dieting patterns and even when they strictly control their intake, their body refuses to let go of the fat they are desperate to lose.

Most times we have no idea about the emotions behind our eating choices.

Stress is another significant factor that can sabotage your best attempts in pursuing healthy eating habits and other healthy disciplines.

Personalized Coaching can help you explore the many facets that keep you stuck in a place you recognize as unhealthy.  Exploring factors that limit us can be a frustrating and sometimes scary journey.  As a Coach, I can work with you as you make discoveries that can dramatically change your relationship to your emotions, stress and food.

As a Coach, I do not hold my own idea of success or hold one particular ‘formula’ for healthy eating and then hold you accountable for following it.  A Coach does not beat you up when you are not making the kind of progress they want you to make.  A Coach listens to the desires of your heart for freedom, health and joy and holds those values for you.  A Coach believes in your ability to achieve the desires of your heart and walks along with you, which allows you to get there much faster and with great confidence.

I have found using the Emotional Freedom Technique as a tool allows clients to quickly navigate their health journey because they can: discover and clear negative emotions that have been sabotaging their attempts at success; identify awareness of their personal stress response and its impact on their body; and target the physical cravings as well as the emotional impulse to eat.

If you would like to schedule your free 30 minute inquiry call, we can discuss how hiring a Life Coach can help you take steps on your personal journey.

You have the capacity to make incredible progress and I am excited about the possibility of working with you!

 

An Invitation to Group Coaching

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Would you, or someone you know like to …Snow Collage Cropped

  • Feel more energetic?
  • Sleep better and wake up refreshed?
  • Restore or maintain youthful vitality as you grow older?
  • Navigate the maze of health information with confidence?

We all know some things we could do better to improve our health or lifestyle.  What keeps us from doing the things we know are good for us?

Do you desire motivation and support so that you can gain momentum and get over those initial hurdles towards a healthier you?

You are invited to join a JumpStart Mastermind for Health Group. Be part of the top 5% of the population that owns their own health.  Receive information, inspiration and encouragement on your personal health journey.  Find the health you desire one baby step at a time.

You will:

  • Connect virtually with a small group of individuals who are contemplating making significant health changes for the better!
  • JumpStart your health journey with a minimum three-month commitment.
  • Participate in one 90 minute group coaching call per month
  • Receive one 50 minute individual coaching session per month.
  • Connect with your JumpStart Mastermind for Health Group privately on Facebook.

Special introductory rate:  $75 per month.  There are a limited number of places available either in the morning or evening.

Mastermind groups provide the ideal environment to make small sustainable life changes.  Each participant is committed to their own positive progress and will cheer for every step you take on your journey.  Together we are stronger and can accomplish what we never thought possible.

This JumpStart Mastermind for Health Group will be coached by Becky Hastings.  Becky has been coaching similar groups for over 20 years and is passionate about effectively helping you achieve your own goals.

Head ShotIf you need more information before deciding if the JumpStart Mastermind for Health Group is
for you, feel free to  email beckyspd@gmail.com or phone 470 774 0285. Please schedule your 30 minute free inquiry call so you can fully explore how this might work for you.I look forward to hearing from you and helping you achieve your health goals!
Becky

Future of Nutrition Conference

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952189_52999227I love learning.

I’m passionate about health.

A free on-line conference taking place on 27, 28, 29, 30 and 31 January 2014.  This conference is providing an abundance of information on how to be healthy, happy and fit in 2014.  It is also about understanding how our brain works, how our bodies work and what signals we put into them through the foods we choose.

I am learning so much.  There are still 2 1/2 more days to enjoy this information for free.  Check it out.

Wherever you are in the world you can learn how to be healthier right where you are.  Learn how to be healthy so you don’t have to experience the “health care system.”

 

 

Confessions of an Imperfect Parent

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Let's be friends

I have a vivid memory of an intense serious discussion my husband and I had with our oldest son when he was 20.  He was at a stage of life where he didn’t really know what his future held or what he should be pursuing.  He was not feeling confident.

I don’t remember the entire conversation, it lasted a long time and there was a lot of raw sharing and tears all around.

There were some things he raised about his childhood that caused him pain in remembering.  There was the realization that we had not done a perfect job in raising this son.  We had made mistakes.  Some of our mistakes had left scars in his heart that he was still struggling with.  It was not an easy conversation.  Acknowledging our parenting mistakes was hard, but it was even harder trying to figure out ‘what do we do now?’  How can we help this son heal from the pain we inadvertently caused him?  How can we help him through this state of insecurity and move with confidence to the future God has for him?

Most of the discussion was between my husband and son and I distinctly remember having the thought “I’m like the Counselor in this situation, but I HAVE NO IDEA what is needed or what would be helpful for them right now.”  I usually think I have all the answers to most relational issues!! But I was completely stumped and remember telling them so.

I think we all prayed together, apologized and agreed that we did not know the way forward.

As parents of young children we do our very best to meet their needs and balance life.  But it is quite a learning curve and we can’t always predict exactly how our decisions will impact the heart of our child.  Hearing about some scars on my son’s heart based on the life choices we had made was very hard, but allowing him the space to speak about it was an important step towards his healing and growing.

He went on to find a field of study he really enjoyed.  He moved a continent away and got a lot of great work experience – some of it through some pretty difficult situations.  He dug in, faced the difficulties and grew.  God brought him an amazing woman to be his wife.  He started his own business and has seen it grow as he contracts many men older than himself to work for him.

So what is my point?  As parents we will make mistakes!  It is a given.  However, we can have confidence that God’s grace can bring blessing despite our mistakes.  Coming to grips with our mistakes is a process.  We can start by confessing to our children when we know we have made a mistake.  We can listen when they want to explain their view on their life – listen and not try to defend ourselves.  We can pray and seek wisdom and grace to build, grow and repair once we have become aware of pain we might have inadvertently caused our children.  We need to fully receive the forgiveness offered in Jesus Christ and not beat ourselves up for our mistakes. All of it is worth it.  Building a long lasting friendship with our adult children is one of the most worthwhile things we can do!

What have your learned about forgiving yourself on your parenting journey?