For Parents

bonding w baby

Being a parent is a big responsibility. Our precious baby totally depends on us to make every important decision.

I want you to know right up front I have nothing to gain from any decision you make for your baby.  I just love healthy children.

I love seeing my children enjoy great health and even though they are now 31, 28, 24, 20 and 13, I don’t even like them to get a cold or anything that slows them down even for a half a day!

I love seeing my grandchildren robustly healthy, loving healthy food and thriving in their brain, body and soul.

I volunteer with children and love to see healthy robust children brimming with life and curiosity.  They are so precious and I love their energy.

Babies now receive more vaccines than ever in history and the USA recommends more shots than any other country.  Yet our children are not healthier and the US infant death rate is not something to be proud of. Why?

When I see a child struggling my heart aches.  Vaccine damage is real and many families have learned the hard way.  Sometimes vaccine damage can be seen in the eyes of a child, as Dr. Andrew Moulden documented extensively.  Just as a stroke victim often has parts of their face or eye movement impaired because of the damage caused by the stroke, so a child injured by vaccines often has a ‘pull’ in one of their eyes.  You can go back and look at baby pictures and often identify when it happened. Vaccines have heavy metals added to them, sometimes as preservatives and sometimes to actually make a bigger impact on the body.  However, these heavy metals can cause damage to the brain and interfere with the normal function of the immune system.

A common complication of vaccines is repeated ear infections and much higher levels of sickness in the first two years.  It seems the children just catch everything.  I hate to see children suffering unnecessarily.  Life is too short to spend a lot of time in doctors offices or hospitals.  Life is too short to watch your child develop a chronic illness from being injected with ingredients hostile to their body while their immune system tries to respond the best way it knows how.

I respect the fact that God made our bodies good.  He designed them with an immune system that can handle anything.  The vaccine ‘scientists’ think they have improved upon God’s design and will give you ‘protection’ from childhood illnesses.  I would rather trust in God than in the vaccine scientists. While some of the scientists researching vaccines may claim to be followers of Jesus Christ,  the originators of vaccines mostly denied God and sought to circumvent the body’s defense mechanisms. They believed the body was deficient and that their concoctions would provide benefits.  All vaccine science has been built on a faulty foundation.  When we leave God out of our scientific thought, we can become hopelessly confused.  Paul talks about this in his writing.

With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against Him. Eph 4:17-18

A scientist who denies God is hopelessly confused. That confusion leads to more confusion.  In the case of vaccine science it also leads to a lot of suffering.  The US government acknowledges this suffering.  They set up the vaccine court because they admitted that vaccines were unavoidably unsafe. Nearly $3 Billion has been paid out towards those who have been injured or killed as a result of recieving vaccines.  This is only the tip of the iceberg since only 25% of claims filed with the NVICP are paid out (many are refused on technicalities after years of waiting) and only about 10% of people who experience injury even bother to file.  Using these numbers, it could be extrapolated that the damage from vaccines runs over $100 Billion.

Many thousands of families are suffering with serious debilitating health challenges due to receiving the recommended vaccines.  They have been forced to re-think and dig deep to discover the scientific basis of the shots given to children.  Many are doctors and other professionals.  They feel betrayed and want to warn others.  They aren’t crazy as the media and vaccine promoters would like to make them out to be.  They are extremely caring people. They are willing to take all the insults and abuse the well organized vaccine promoters try to overwhelm them with and they continue – because they want others to avoid the pain and suffering they have experienced.

Who would you rather believe?  A drug representative, a doctor, or company whose livelihood depends on the ongoing vaccination program? Or a parent of a vaccine injured child whose only benefit they gain is the satisfaction of knowing they have helped educate and prevent a potential injury?

Even if you aren’t convinced, give the parents of vaccine injured children a chance to share what they have learned through painstaking research.  Here is one I admire a lot.

 

Settling Disagreements

Locking HornsLocking horns. It can happen often. Two strong personalities with strong ideas are bound to disagree. Add more strong personalities to the mix and it is a real tangle!

I am refreshed daily when I reflect on the ancient writings of Paul, an ardent follower of Jesus.  He had a simple message, a focussed life and wrote letters to encourage and instruct.  You might not be a follower of Jesus, but you can still receive timeless wisdom from this remarkable ancient writer.  He has a helpful recipe for settling disagreements that I have found incredibly helpful during 33 years of marriage and raising five children into adulthood.

  1. Realize selfishness and pride could be operating in you.  Examine yourself thoroughly.  Most of us would prefer to skip this step. I know I would.
  2. Ask what are my neighbors interests? Truly seek to understand where they are coming from.
  3. What might God want to accomplish in this? In the heat of our emotion, it is hard to see that there might be a larger purpose to our current disagreement. Jesus was 100% right, but He did not hold on to his position. He willingly allowed the bad guys to get the upper hand. We need to seek God’s outcome, not our own.
  4. Allow God’s Spirit to energize you.  He will give you the desire to do the right thing!
  5. BTW, do everything (these steps, and everything else) without: complaining, bickering, and name-calling. This requires self-control. If you feel you are losing self-control, walk away until you can regain it!
  6. Cling to words that bring life.  Find them, share them, repeat them to yourself. Most of use have negative tapes playing in our head. We need a new mind-set to help us rise above our disagreements.

These insights are gleaned from Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 2, which you can read from The Voice below.

Do Paul’s words help you when you think of the ways you usually lock horns?

2 If you find any comfort from being in the Anointed, if His love brings you some encouragement, if you experience true companionship with the Spirit, if His tenderness and mercy fill your heart; then, brothers and sisters, 2 here is one thing that wouldcomplete my joy—come together as one in mind and spirit and purpose, sharing in the same love. 3 Don’t let selfishness and prideful agendas take over. Embrace true humility, and lift your heads to extend love to others. 4 Get beyond yourselves and protecting your own interests; be sincere, and secure your neighbors’ interests first.

In other words, adopt the mind-set of Jesus the Anointed. Live with His attitude in your hearts. Remember:

6 Though He was in the form of God,
He chose not to cling to equality with God;
7 But He poured Himself out to fill a vessel brand new;
a servant in form
and a man indeed.
The very likeness of humanity,
8 He humbled Himself,
obedient to death—
a merciless death on the cross!
9 So God raised Him up to the highest place
and gave Him the name above all.
10 So when His name is called,
every knee will bow,[a]
in heaven, on earth, and below.
11 And every tongue will confess[b]
“Jesus, the Anointed One, is Lord,”
to the glory of God our Father!

12 So now, my beloved, obey as you have always done, not only when I am with you, but even more so when I can’t be. Continue to work out your salvation, with great fear and trembling, 13 because God is energizing you so that you will desire and do what always pleases Him.

14 Do all things without complaining or bickering with each other, 15 so you will be found innocent and blameless; you are God’s children called to live without a single stain on your reputations among this perverted and crooked generation. Shine like stars across the land. 16 Cling to the word of life so that on the day of judgment when the Anointed One returns I may have reason to rejoice, because it will be plain that I didn’t turn from His mission nor did I work in vain. 17 Even if my lifeblood is to be poured out like wine as a sacrifice of your faith, I have great reason to celebrate with all of you. 18 And for the same reason, you can be glad and celebrate with me.

Recipe for Peace

PeaceBiblical wisdom might help you, even if you aren’t a follower of Jesus or don’t believe the Bible. Paul spent years traveling and teaching people how to live out Jesus’ words. In his letter to a group of people, he shares some key points for helping people live in peace with themselves and each other.  I think they are still helpful today.

  1. Settle disagreements. Don’t let things accumulate. It is normal to disagree – even with people you love, or are working hard together to accomplish the same goals. Bearing in mind that there are at least three points of view involved: yours, the other party’s and the whole truth.  The whole truth comes from “the Master in heaven who doesn’t take sides or pick favorites” (Ephesians 6:9).
  2. Help others settle disagreements – don’t take sides. Help them to see what is motivating them and what is motivating the other party.
  3. Choose joy.  Find the joy. Don’t let  a disagreement or negativity weigh you down.
  4. Be gentle and considerate of others. They have a lot of background stuff – just like you do.
  5. Don’t worry about anything; pray. Tell God specifically what you need. Don’t ruminate or dwell on what you don’t have, negative aspects of the situation, or what bad things might happen, just pray possible solutions.
  6. Thank God for all He has done. Make a list of anything and everything remotely good in your life. Review and add to your list. All good gifts come from God.
  7. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and worthy of praise. Look hard to find these thoughts. Making this a continuous habit takes some effort, but pays off.

Reviewing this list helps to re-set my heart and mind in the midst of any struggle I might be having – either with myself or with another person.  I thank God for the wisdom Paul shared which continues to live on through the pages of a book that so many of us take for granted!

Here is the source for my outline in a version you might not have encountered.  Please let me know what you think! How has following, or not following, these guidelines impacted the peace in your heart or home?

2 Euodia and Syntyche, I urge you to put aside your differences, agree, and work together in the Lord. 3 Yes, Syzygus, loyal friend, I enlist you to please help these women. They, along with brother Clement and many others, have worked by my side to spread the good news of the gospel. They have their names recorded in the book of life.

Most of all, friends, always rejoice in the Lord! I never tire of saying it: Rejoice!5 Keep your gentle nature so that all people will know what it looks like to walk in His footsteps. The Lord is ever present with us. 6 Don’t be anxious about things; instead, pray. Pray about everything. He longs to hear your requests, so talk to God about your needs and be thankful for what has come. 7 And know that the peace of God (a peacethat is beyond any and all of our human understanding) will stand watch over your hearts and minds in Jesus, the Anointed One.

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, fill your minds with beauty and truth. Meditate on whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is good, whatever is virtuous and praiseworthy. 9 Keep to the script: whatever you learned and received and heard and saw in me—do it—and the God of peace will walk with you. Paul, Philippians 4, The Voice

 

 

What to do in the midst of trouble

Stadium“BE CAREFUL.  It’s easy to be deceived.”

Your current trouble, whatever it is

whatever you endure

whatever you say

keep in mind … it is for

“the sake of My Name, Jesus.

…None of your adversaries will be able to answer or argue against you.

…You will be hated by everyone

for the sake of My Name.

…So, when troubles begin, don’t be afraid.

Look up – raise your head high,

because the truth is that your liberation is fast approaching.

But, be carefulGuard your hearts.

They can be made heavy with

moral laxity

drunkeness

hassles of daily life

…so you have to stay alert

praying that you’ll be able to escape the coming trials so you can stand tall in the presence of the Son of Man.”

Jesus, Luke 21

Sometimes we find ourselves in the midst of trouble.  Sometimes we deserve it.  Often we don’t.  Jesus gives us a good plan on how to handle trouble.  LOOK UP!  Raise your head to Him – He is still there.  He is still in charge and He is waiting to make you strong in this trouble.  He hasn’t promised to take all the trouble away, but to be with you in the trouble.  To make your stronger. He can also use the trouble for His glory as you release it to Him

I’m praying you will have peace in the midst of your trouble and look up to find the strength you need today.

May the God of peace

make you His own completely and

set you apart from the rest.

May your spirit, soul, and body

be preserved

kept intact

and wholly free from any sort of blame

at the coming of our Lord Jesus the Annointed.

For God, who calls you,

is faithful,

and He can be trusted to make it so.

Paul, 1 Thessalonians 5

Waiting for Justice

Sometimes I feel like the prophet Habakkuk. His words certainly resonated in my hear this morning:

I will climb up to my watchtower
and stand at my guardpost.
There I will wait to see what the Lord says
and how he will answer my complaint.

2 Then the Lord said to me,

“Write my answer plainly on tablets,
so that a runner can carry the correct message to others.
3 This vision is for a future time.
It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled.
If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently,
for it will surely take place.

It will not be delayed.
4 “Look at the proud!
They trust in themselves, and their lives are crooked.
But the righteous will live by their faithfulness to God.
5 Wealth is treacherous,
and the arrogant are never at rest.
They open their mouths as wide as the grave,
and like death, they are never satisfied.
In their greed they have gathered up many nations
and swallowed many peoples.
6 “But soon their captives will taunt them.
They will mock them, saying,
‘What sorrow awaits you thieves!
Now you will get what you deserve!
You’ve become rich by extortion,
but how much longer can this go on?’
7 Suddenly, your debtors will take action.
They will turn on you and take all you have,
while you stand trembling and helpless.
8 Because you have plundered many nations,
now all the survivors will plunder you.
You committed murder throughout the countryside
and filled the towns with violence.
9 “What sorrow awaits you who build big houses
with money gained dishonestly!
You believe your wealth will buy security,
putting your family’s nest beyond the reach of danger.
10 But by the murders you committed,
you have shamed your name and forfeited your lives.
11 The very stones in the walls cry out against you,
and the beams in the ceilings echo the complaint.
12 “What sorrow awaits you who build cities
with money gained through murder and corruption!
13 Has not the Lord of Heaven’s Armies promised
that the wealth of nations will turn to ashes?
They work so hard,
but all in vain!
14 For as the waters fill the sea,
the earth will be filled with an awareness
of the glory of the Lord.
15 “What sorrow awaits you who make your neighbors drunk!
You force your cup on them
so you can gloat over their shameful nakedness.
16 But soon it will be your turn to be disgraced.
Come, drink and be exposed!
Drink from the cup of the Lord’s judgment,
and all your glory will be turned to shame.
17 You cut down the forests of Lebanon.
Now you will be cut down.
You destroyed the wild animals,
so now their terror will be yours.
You committed murder throughout the countryside
and filled the towns with violence.
18 “What good is an idol carved by man,
or a cast image that deceives you?
How foolish to trust in your own creation—
a god that can’t even talk!
19 What sorrow awaits you who say to wooden idols,
‘Wake up and save us!’
To speechless stone images you say,
‘Rise up and teach us!’
Can an idol tell you what to do?
They may be overlaid with gold and silver,
but they are lifeless inside.
20 But the Lord is in his holy Temple.
Let all the earth be silent before him.”

Wicked people seek to promote their own agendas for their own benefit. They have always existed.  Large corporations whose existence depends on a growing bottom line are filled with individual people who might be overlooking unethical practices perpetuated on innocent, trusting victims, in the interest of just keeping their jobs and not rocking any boats.  Others are simply promoting practices that cause harm without fully understanding how and why they are doing it.  They have gotten comfortable in the deception perpetuated on them.

God’s love reaches out and seek to call all those who repent and respond.  He is a defender of the innocent and a lover of justice.  “A day is coming when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.  He will judge everyone according to what they have done.” (Paul, Romans 2)

I don’t know what my role is, but I want to be part of the solution, bringing hope and healing through the power of Jesus.   I want to be led “by a change of heart produced by God’s Spirit, seeking praise only from God, not from people.” (Ibid)

There is no one else who can rescue us, and there is no other name under heaven given to any human by whom we may be rescued. (Peter, Acts 4)

 

Hope in the midst of corruption

Hope StreetIt is amazing how relevant the words of a man who lived 2000 years ago can seem for today!

Wake up! See what you have become! Woe to you; you’re like a field full of unmarked graves. People walk on the field and have no idea of the corruption that is a few inches beneath their feet. (Jesus, Luke 11, The Voice)

These words of Jesus were addressed to the religious leaders of His day, who also happened to have a great deal of political power.  They remind me a lot of the medical authorities and the power they have over ordinary people. People view medical ‘experts’ as priests and many strictly follow their advice.

Sometimes Christians are offended by criticisms against a medical system or political system they esteem to be the best in the world.  Like the scholar who was sitting with Jesus who made this remark,

Rabbi, if You insult the Pharisees, then You insult us too.

Jesus answered with a rather harsh and game-changing response.  In fact, that was the last invitation he received to a dinner party by a Pharisee or religious leader! This is just part of His response found in Luke 11:

So, religious scholars, judgement will come on you! You’re supposed to be teachers, unlocking the door of knowledge and guiding people through it. But the fact is, you’ve never even passed through the doorway yourselves. You’ve taken the key, left the door locked tight, and stood in the way of everyone who sought entry.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWhen it comes to knowledge about health – true health – as in how to get healthy, stay healthy, feel good and live well until it is your time to die, the medical profession is not my first go-to source.  Their track record does not boast of the results I want for myself and my loved ones. I have learned a lot from many enlightened medical professionals and have received excellent care from many doctors over the years. However, I have the greatest respect for doctors who do not stay in the confines of their medical training, but through independent research, listening to their patients, and a pursuit of truth, have found keys to health they did not learn in their medical training.  However, there remain many strong voices in the medical and pharmaceutical professions who seem unconcerned about true health and, like the Pharisees Jesus harshly criticized, have not figured it out for themselves, and have wanted to take the key away from anyone else who wants to find the truth.

Be that as it may, I have hope.  Like Paul, and the early followers of Jesus, I have hope because that is exactly what Jesus came to give us.

The hope I have is rooted in the promises of God. It was predicted that Jesus would suffer, but He would rise from the dead, so that through Him everyone could have hope and light to live by.

So, in a crazy world that seems to keep going crazier, I continue to find my daily hope as I seek to grasp more of

God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ Himself. In Christ are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Paul, Colossians 2)

The rules and medical recommendations pushed on us by the world system/culture/government

are merely human teaching.  They may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial [so-called ‘herd immunity’ proponents?] and severe bodily discipline [ask any parent with an autistic child what is required]

but [these rules] provide no help in conquering our basic problems. (Paul, Colossians 2)

The human condition is complex.  But one basic fact has been evident from the beginning of time – man’s desire for more (greed) and his desire for esteem (pride).  These desires are the root of much of the corruption in the current medical system and the ‘science’ that they like to say supports everything they do.  Of course, the patients have to share in the blame because we like quick easy fixes to solve our problems or alleviate our symptoms. The combination of our desire to avoid suffering, the machinery of greed, and a system of hierarchy and control by ‘experts’ has become the foundation of an enormous industry which brings extreme rewards to a few and great suffering to many.

Unfortunately the losers don’t really understand how many ways they are losing and how to get out of this win-lose situation.

sunriseI cling to Jesus and the hope He provides and seek to share truth and help the innocents who suffer.  Jesus said we need to petition God with brash persistence.  He loves us. He wants to open our eyes, reveal Himself to us and relieve us of our suffering so that we can help others.

What are you petitioning the God of the universe for?  Where is your hope? What do you know about Jesus?

No Guarantees

handsIn parenting there are no guarantees.  Most parents are filled with awe at the prospect of being responsible for a new life and try and do everything ‘right’.  Some research like crazy, others take opinion polls from their friends or rely on the accumulated wisdom they’ve gleaned over the years.  They know in their heart – they will never be ‘that’ parent – the one in their memory who was sooooo obviously wrong.

Our attempts to be the perfect parent are often interesting for others to watch!  Usually we are unaware of how we appear.

Some parents rely heavily on whatever their doctor, or midwife, or best friend advises.  They might read a book claiming to have all the answers to how to make sure your baby is healthy, sleeps through the night from an early age, and is the brightest baby on the block. We set our sights on the ‘true path to parenting perfection’ completely unaware that there is no perfect method, and anyone who claims to have it, is either delusional or lying.

All parents want the best for their baby – those that learn about the increased toxic exposure children face today and carefully avoid all heavy metals, including fish, medication and vaccinations AND those who fear their child might unnecessarily experience suffering through a ‘vaccine preventable disease’ so they make sure they fully vaccinate themselves, their baby, and anyone coming into contact with the baby.

Happy Grandparents June 13I have been at this job of parenting for over 31 years.  My husband and I have been blessed with five amazing children, two daughters in love and three wonderful grandchildren.  The bottom line is that anything good we have done with our children has been through the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and that His mercy is enough for most of our mistakes.

In the end we have to seek to follow Him with all our heart, mind and soul and seek the wisdom He wants to give us on a daily basis.  We can have absolute confidence that He does not want to leave us in the dark, but loves us absolutely and wants to reveal His truths to us.

Choose faith over fear.  Parent out of your faith and confidence that God created your child in your womb and can give your body the ability to grow a healthy child – even if you decline to get an early photo!  Make your parenting decisions based on faith in the immune system God designed.  Never make a decision out of fear.  Pray and ask to be led to the information you need to make a wise choice.

Read both sides of any discussion.  Don’t be afraid to explore what the best of the best has to say to support their claims.  Read every word of any medication’s package insert before administering it to your child.  Don’t give anything just because a doctor or a pharmacist says its safe.  Empower yourself with knowledge. When in doubt wait and pray. The more information you have in advance the easier it will be to make decisions.

But in the end, follow your heart of faith in a God who loves you – don’t follow fear.  Life is not perfect.  Even if you take every possible precaution you can still end up with a situation you did not plan or desire.  Continue to choose faith.  Faith that God can work all things for our good as we love Him and follow His call on our life.

Sometimes we learn the best lessons through the biggest difficulties.  No one wakes up and orders challenges and difficulties for breakfast, but sometimes as parents we find they show up on our plate.  We can respond with faith and seek the strength and grace Jesus wants to imbibe in us.

How has God turned your greatest challenges into triumphs? Let me know in the comments below.  Your story can inspire others.

 

 

Scientific Ideas

DSC_0075I came across this quote from a book written in 1972 describing a situation in the 1940s, but it rings just as true, if not more, today:

Yet the established virologists still clung to the idea that polio was a disease of the nervous system only, pointing out that to find actual polio virus in the blood of polio victims was a very rare thing. The tenacity of the old-liners was understandable. It was hard to part with ideas that had been companions for as long as half a century. Aaron E. Klein, Trial By Fury

Scientists generally have a hard time getting their mind around a new way of looking at things.   Funding plays a role, but even the wiring of their brains has been to follow certain types of logical sequences, so that when a new idea is presented, their brain automatically kicks it out.  Many times people get angry at these scientists and can accuse them of all sorts of evil motivation.  I’m not saying there is no greed or corruption in science, but when we start to understand the huge mental shift a scientist must embrace to accept a new way of thinking about a subject he is well versed in, we might find better and faster ways of helping them see and accept the truth.

When we strongly attack a closely held opinion held by someone who perceives themselves to be an expert, we can cause them to hold even more tightly – no matter how illogical that position seems to be.

Attacking someone rarely works in getting them to change their mind-set.  How can we help parents, doctors, educators, policy makers and government officials learn the truth and change their ideas, especially in areas that could be causing severe harm to our children and our health?

1:68 demands we figure this out.

Trail Blazer

trailDear Mrs Gianelloni,

I share much of your heart and passion for Jesus, motherhood and health.  I also share your seemingly insatiable desire to know the truth and share it with others.  Thanks for leading the way in such an exemplary manner.  You inspire so many people and we all gain wisdom and confidence through your writing and thinking. I especially loved your recent blog written to the bullies.

As I was reading Ephesians chapter 3 this morning, I thought of you and wanted to encourage you in your passion and mission:

It is God’s purpose to use us as instruments to display His wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.  

Thank you for being an instrument of God in our world.

Because of Christ and our faith in Him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. So please don’t lose heart because of [any] trials [you might face] here.

I pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth, that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit… 

Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

You have been at this for a long time and maybe you don’t get discouraged, but I wanted you to know that there is an army of people who are right with you.  Sometimes I get a bit discouraged when I see the current state of the world: toxic environmental pollution, GMO food, roundup in our bodies, vaccine injuries and deniers, rampant auto-immune illness and cancer in young and old, Alzheimer’s, chem-trails, human trafficking – did I cover everything?  Oh yeah, and missing jumbo jets, corrupt politicians and the trillion dollar debt we will leave for our children’s children’s children.

So in the midst of all the craziness of our modern world I check-in daily with my Creator through the Bible and find hope, comfort and direction. I believe the power of God as seen in the life and resurrection of Jesus is truly our only hope.  God wants to give everyone the opportunity to re-think their lives, turn to God and gain a new life (Paul, 60 AD).

Again, thanks for blazing this trail and being an instrument of God in our world, a tool to bring justice to the oppressed, and a light shining to those who are in darkness. You are a great inspiration and encouragement!

 

The Good News: This Autism Therapy is Free…And Good For the Whole Family

Guest Post by The Thinking Moms Revolution whose book and writings have contributed hugely to the awareness of the reality of autism and the possibilities for full recovery.  I am so glad they found each other and that they have joined together to write so that they can extend their blessing far and wide. I have been blessed many times over by their struggles. This piece is really for all parents and helps us to understand the power of our role in our children’s lives.

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Thinking Moms’ Revolution

Luv BugMoments that bring me to my knees, I love them.  Well, I should clarify. I love the ones that bring me to my knees with gratitude – like that guy bursting out of the sewer pipe in Shawshank Redemption, glad to be alive. That is good stuff.  But when you are a parent of a kid with challenges – be it social, academic, physical, or all challenges rolled into one – it can be something like noticing a bug on the sidewalk and stepping on it that channels that inner Shawshank. “YESsssssssss – he noticed a BUG. Damn straight, my man – high five! OH, SNAP – he stepped on it!!! How APPROPRIATE was that?!?!”

You KNOW you know what I’m talking about.

There are also those milestones that everyone would agree are definitely fall-to-your-knees worthy. Learning to walk (at any age), talking (again at any age), peeing and pooping in the potty, staying dry through the night, etc. My latest “on my knees” moment was brought to me courtesy of the YMCA. We have a network of awesome YMCAs around us, and my son LOVES the indoor rock-climbing walls. He’s tried all the rock walls at all the YMCAs that are nearby. He has a body size that is not ideal for rock climbing. His low muscle strength, poor motor planning and general inability to focus provide additional challenges. But about a year after he discovered indoor rock climbing – he got to the top!

rockclimbing2

It was so sweet because it was something typical. And kid-like. And just about age appropriate. We weren’t congratulating him for regaining his composure after a cherished plan was cancelled, or celebrating his first words four years after he lost the ability to speak. This was different. And he was SO PROUD. SO. PROUD. The really sweet thing to me was the reminder to NOT GIVE UP. I didn’t realize it, but I had been going through the motions while taking him to the different rock-climbing facilities during the past year. I didn’t realize that, in my head, I had written it off as something it would be unlikely that he could accomplish.

Then one night, when he was particularly down about not making progress on the wall, he asked, “When will I get to the top?” It hit me that he had a goal of making it to the top, and he said “WHEN,” not “IF.” He had a goal, and he believed he would reach it; it was just a matter of when.

So then it hit me, this child of mine senses when I’m in a crappy mood when he gets home from school. He looks at me more, tells me he loves me and actually starts having a bad day. Just because he is catching my snarky need-more-sleep/coffee/yoga vibe. So if he’s picking up on that so easily, what’s he picking up when I “go through the motions” at the YMCA climbing wall?

So I said to him – answering the question as to WHEN he’d be getting to the top – “Probably this summer. It will take some work, and you might feel frustrated sometimes, but you will get to the top this summer.” Shit. What did I just do? Promise something I can’t deliver?

Around the same time, an awesome a local friend showed me some cool sensory integration techniques for a separate issue my son was having. I started with the easiest techniques that focused on fingers and arms and did them at bedtime a couple times a week, but not regularly.  So when my son scooted up that rock wall, and I thought ‘What the heck has changed that this is now possible?’ I thought immediately of the sensory integration therapy. Of course, that had to be it.

Then I saw this:

hateLoveRice

Dr.  Masaru Emoto has done experiments exploring the power of thoughts on the physical world. This image is from someone recreating his Rice Experiment. He filled three glass jars with rice, covered with water. Jar A he said “thank you” to everyday. Jar B he said “you idiot” to everyday.  Jar C he simply ignored. After thirty days Jar A was fermenting nicely. Jar B was black. Jar C was rotting. This image is a simplified version where one jar is labeled “love” and sent loving thoughts and words. The second jar is labeled “hate” and sent hateful thoughts and words. You can see the results. Several people I know have tried this experiment at home with similar results.

Between the rice experiment and my children’s negative behavior when I am off, I couldn’t help but wonder about the power of my mental shift about the rock wall.

So . . . I guess that this is my thought for today.

change your thoughts

I know, I know, sometimes your thoughts are your only refuge. But lately, I see my less-than-positive thoughts as my prison. The more “negative” I fill my head with, the more “negative” that is drawn into my physical world. But simple shifts in my thinking – recognizing negative self-talk, obstacles I create, expectations of failure – have created corrections to my path. And now, my son’s path. Perhaps my daughter’s path.opportunities

No sugar coating here: it requires a goodly amount of attention to your thoughts (okay, constant attention). And at first it feels fake (“I’m grateful I have food to cook, again, for my constantly hungry family who don’t show an ounce of appreciation”), but just like everything that takes practice, it becomes part of your routine, and then very, very authentic (“I’m so grateful for our warm home and a toilet that flushes”).

I initially believed that I could not control what popped into my head. Over time, what I’ve found is that your thought process is a habit as much as anything else. Of course, when you stub your toe, you’re going to think “Ouch – dang it,” but you don’t need to go into the worm hole of “Again? Another crappy thing? Why today? I need today to be good!!” And when you do start slipping into that worm hole, if you are paying attention, you can stop yourself and say, “That hurt.  Let’s carry on with my bruised, yet unbroken toe.”  When it comes down to it, I’ve spent most of my life trying to control my outside environment. Which means trying to control other people, events beyond my control. What I haven’t realized is that the thing that could make the most difference in my life is the one thing I can control: my thoughts.

~ LuvBug