What do you do when an educated, caring spouse disagrees about vaccine safety?
My husband is a former science professor with a PhD in molecular/cellular biology. My father had a medical degree with scientific training as a virologist and worked in public health. I never finished college, but have spent my life homeschooling our five children and myself on topics I am passionate about. Our children are now aged 33 to 16.
Initially my father admitted vaccines did cause damage to some children, but he had been so well indoctrinated in his medical training that he still thought vaccines were best for society. He told me that my breastfed babies were healthier NOT having vaccines. I began researching the real dangers of vaccines 34 years ago. Over time, both my dad and my husband came to respect the evidence I brought. My husband wholeheartedly supports keeping children safe with a robust innate immune system – something vaccines will never give.
If you are having vaccine safety discussions with someone you love, who also loves your child, it is critically important for you to remember that you are on the same team. You both want the best for your precious baby. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong, but it is about what is truly best for your baby. It is also important to recognize that the media and the medical system push vaccines on the public through well designed fear campaigns. Many times conversations about vaccines can become a heated topic. It is best to avoid that. Sometimes asking a friend to play the role of arbitrator can be helpful. It is always helpful to pray. God can truly work miracles, even today.
Next, encourage the pro vaccine (or fearful) spouse to research the disease which they fear the most. A critically important area to research is the design and function of the infant’s immune system. So much has been learned in the last 10 years about the immune system, the gut brain link, and the lymphatic system, that all medical textbooks need to be re-written. Most doctors are not able to keep current on the latest scientific discoveries.
I highly recommend watching any video on Youtube by Dr Suzanne Humphries, especially the videos in which she explains exactly HOW the infant immune system develops. All her talks contain the latest unbiased SCIENCE. Everything she explains is evidence based with REAL science, not the bought and paid for type. I linked her video on this blog. Stress the importance of finding unbiased scientific support for any decision you make. You are on the same team and both parents want the best for your precious baby – safety from illness and a long healthy life. The question is, how is that achieved?
As a parent, the most important thing you can do is Protect Your Child’s Brain. In our world there is ever-increasing exposure to many different toxic ingredients, from our food, air, and chemicals around us. Please explore exactly what is in the vaccines recommended for your baby and how those ingredients will impact the body and brain.
Sometimes family members – not your partner – want to bombard you with their strong opinions on your vaccine choices. Some push really hard and have strong opinions. If you are experiencing something like this, I compiled this blog just for you which asks eight key questions to help your pro vaccine supporter think through some of the facts about vaccine safety.
Regarding the recommendation implemented in 2013 by the CDC for every woman to get a TDaP for every pregnancy, please research carefully before you inject anything into your body when pregnant. I wrote about shots recommended for pregnancy here.
If you have tried everything and your partner still feels strongly about giving your baby vaccines, as a last resort, may I respectfully suggest that you ask to schedule a face to face conversation to discuss one specific request. Pray their eyes will be open. The one request is to buy time. Request that you delay all vaccines at least until the baby’s blood brain barrier is fully formed. There are differing opinions on when that happens (perhaps your partner would want to research what it is and when it happens), but experts agree that it is sometime between 2 – 8 years. If you can get an agreement to wait until 2 years, research, pray like crazy, and try to understand your partner’s point of view! Asking questions and try to understand where they are coming from, without trying to win every argument will go a long way in helping them eventually come to understand the truth about the vaccine debate.
Many people find exploring the vaccine package inserts supplied by the manufacturer for each shot contains valuable information to understand both the ingredients in the vaccine and the adverse events noted when it was studied.
If, after a lot of exposure, or if there is a refusal to research factual information, understanding the point of view of your partner will help open up calm rational discussion. Seek first to understand. Don’t even try to change their mind. Have a few conversations just exploring their background beliefs on the topic of vaccines.
- Is the pro vaccine stance rooted in a fear of disease? Which particular disease? Where is their information or fear coming from?
- Does their pro vaccine stance stem from social fear? Maybe their own parents or family has drummed it into their mind that anyone that doesn’t give vaccines is just stupid or irresponsible, and they don’t ever want to have ‘that conversation’ with them.
- Are there any medical/educational factors in their background? Maybe a course they took where a teacher stressed vaccines were safe and effective and everyone should get them.
- Is there a previous tragedy in the family that they think might have been prevented with vaccines?
- Lack of education, yet pride. Sometimes when a person is bombarded with ‘scientific evidence’ it makes them feel inferior so they dig in their heels just to demonstrate their strength and power. By listening and showing respect for their views it can give them space to let go of their pride.
Finally, if for whatever reason, you decide to give your baby vaccines, please read this so that you are fully prepared and understand the process, and how to make it easier on everyone.
You might not agree, but I believe the issue of vaccine safety is part of a spiritual battle we face. Paul gave Timothy, his young prodigy, this profound advice:
“Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” 2 Timothy 2:25-26
Author: Becky Hastings, wife, mother, grandmother, passionate follower of Jesus and truth. As a breastfeeding counselor for over 23 years Becky is devoted to helping parents make wise decisions for the long-term health and wellbeing of their babies. As a member of a Vaccine Safety Education Coalition, Becky writes and speaks on the topic of vaccine safety.